Why You HAVE to Buy Super Smash Bros. Brawl
With the launch of the Nintendo Gamecube (the most uncreatively named system ever) came the release of what many consider to be the greatest multiplayer game of all time: Super Smash Bros. Melee. By throwing the game disk into their purple or black lunchboxes, players discovered a balance of characters, weapons, and items that created a game with a level of replay value that was, and still is, almost unheard of. In fact, Melee is still widely played in tournaments worldwide. So when the sequel, Brawl, was announced for the Wii, fans went insane. At an average of 40 posts per second (39 of which contained the phrase “Falcon PAUNCH” at least once), Smash fans posted random speculation and shouted obscenities at each other on message boards all over the internet for about 2 years. After multiple delays and death threats to Reggie Fils-Aime, Brawl hit American shores on March 9th. 840,000 Smash players picked up the game at the butt-crack of dawn on that fateful day and at the time of this writing, it has been declared the bestselling Nintendo game of all time (for first week sales) by Nintendo of America with 1.4 million copies sold. I’m one of the lucky jerks that snagged a copy on the 9th, and so I bring you, the reader, a REVIEW.
Changes from Melee
(Ness strikes a hooker pose while Mario is oblivious to the fact
that there's a man impersonating him as a doctor standing to his right.)
When you enter your first match in Brawl you’ll notice a few major changes after you get done wetting your pants. At first glance things seem to run a bit slower than in Melee, but you’ll quickly realized that it wasn’t slower; there are simply more frames of animation for each attack or movement. This makes all the moves execute with about the same speed as they always did, while looking more fluid. Along with that, the characters have all had a bit of a makeover which uses the Wii’s enhanced power. The game just looks better than its predecessor all around. It’s like Jared the Subway Guy’s before and after pictures: Still pretty ugly after it all, but better nonetheless. Other changes to the Smash formula include the addition of “Final Smash” attacks (Just hit that pretty glowy ball and discover what these are for yourself) and the fact that air dodges don’t actually move your character as in Melee, where they worked almost as a small third jump. Also, in Brawl, a third jump can still be performed after using one.
If you thought I overused parenthesis before, buckle your seatbelts, kids, because there are quite a few new characters to name here. Snake (of Metal Gear Solid fame), Metaknight and Dedede (from Kirby), Lucario (a random Poke’mon I guess), Toon Link (or Wind Waker Link), Sonic the Hedgehog, R.O.B (don’t even ask), Ike (from Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance), Diddy Kong, Lucas (Jimmy Neutron look-alike from Earthbound), Wolf (rabies-infected bad guy from the Star Fox series), Wario, Zero Suit Samus (Samus minus some clothes), and the Poke’mon Trainer all join the returning Melee characters for brawl. Melee’s entire cast of characters save for Mewtwo, Pichu, Roy, Dr. Mario, and Young Link are present in Brawl. You’re not really losing anything though because Toon Link is a replacement for Young Link and Lucario is SORTA a replacement for Mewtwo. Plus, Roy, Pichu, and Dr. Mario were all just clones of other characters that are still in this iteration.
If you knew every move for every character in Melee, that only gives you a slight advantage in Brawl. All the returning characters have had at least a few changes to their move set. Mario now uses F.L.U.U.D. as his down-special attack, Fox kicks differently when in the air, Ganondorf is slower and more powerful all around, and Marth is even more gender confused, to name a few. A lot of characters got buffed this time around, in order to balance out the roster better. Bowser, Ness, and Link all saw considerable improvement, with a few changed attacks and overall better damage-dealing power. A few characters got nerfed a bit as well, so Fox is no longer the unstoppable upkick-crazed crackhead that he was in Melee. Newcomer Ike may be a little unbalanced, however, since he has a Barry Bonds-like swing with his sword, making him a tad overpowered.
Speaking of drug-enhanced baseball careers, the modes you know and love are all back and with co-op! There are co-op events, co-op homerun contests, co-op multi man melees, co-op all-star modes, and co-op boss battles. If you don’t have any friends and you can’t find any willing hobos to join you, that’s all fantastic because in addition to all the new multiplayer fun, there are 41 new single-player events, 5 different levels of target test mode, reportedly over 500 trophies to collect, 35 playable characters, a fairly in-depth stage creator, a minigame for getting new trophies (a little thingamabob called the coin launcher, which feels like a Nintendo-fied Chucky Cheese game) and of course classic mode. Instead of picking a certain type of “special” match from a pre-set list in Vs. Mode and that being the only option like in Melee, any special conditions (slo-mo, giant, stamina, invisible) can be toggled on or off, just like items, for all normal brawls. So if you want all the fighters to be tiny, made of metal, and moving at lightning speed you just get to toggling you sick little person. Taking a cue from the newest Halo iteration, it’s possible to save and view replays as well (they can only be a maximum of 3 minutes in length though). Oh and there’s one other smallish change to the modes in Brawl: Adventure mode is now the Subspace Emissary.
Nintendo has done a TERRIBLE job of marketing this part of Brawl. Most people that have heard about it will assume that it’s just a 1 or 2-hour long little replacement for Melee’s Adventure mode. Unless they were also ENRON investors, those people couldn’t be more wrong. The Subspace Emissary by itself lasts longer than a majority of complete action games, at about 8 hours on average (or WAY longer if you want 100% completion). Those estimated 8 hours aren’t including the cut scenes. Oh are there cut scenes... In all their pre-rendered glory, there are more of them than in nearly every other Nintendo game ever made COMBINED. Watch as Snake hides in his cardboard box like the pansy he is, all in super prettified CG. Subspace could have literally been sold BY ITSELF for full price, separate of Brawl, and it would’ve been at least a half-way decent deal. Just as most other reviewers have complained, the levels don’t have the greatest design of all time, but WHO CARES. The mode is really just a GIGANTIC extra thrown on top of the already endless list of things to do in Brawl. Oh and the entire mode leads up to the final level, stage 31. That level alone is bigger than some complete Castlevania games. I wish I were exaggerating. If Brawl were a giant birthday cake, the Subspace Emissary mode would be big dancing Dick Cheyney lookalike that busted out the middle when you tried to eat it: great the first time, and although you’ll probably never go back to it, you’ll be grateful for the addition.
Online
If you want to brawl with random people by selecting the “With Anyone” option you at least have the choice between team brawl or free-for-all, but beyond that you’re in the dark. No names or communication of any type will be allowed in this mode. So you’ll never know if that was your one-legged neighbor, Mr. Wilkins, or a Hungarian robot-baby you just got pwnd by.
If you have Dial-Up internet the following paragraph does not apply to you. If you don’t have internet at all, you’re probably reading this at school or a library, in which case you really are a loser. Go outside and do some push-ups or something. Anywho, in case you’ve been living under a rock with no wifi access, Brawl has internet capability for those with DSL running to their Wiis. YES you have to use the retarded friend codes if you want to do anything but random battles, but if you DO decide to make that extra effort and put in all those codes, a multitude of options are available to you. You can send and receive created levels, snapshots and replays, do co-op homerun contests and multiman melee events, or set up any brawl type with your friend. Once a friend or fellow message board user is added to your Smash roster you can see their online status from then on out as well. The lack of voice-chat is worse than see-sawing with Rosie O’ Donnel, but it can’t all be perfect I guess. I prefer to use stage designs to communicate. For instance, I designed a level shaped like my ex-girlfriend’s brother’s butt and sent it to him. He got the message.
Summin' it up
Unless you can’t live without Megaman, Super Smash Bros. Brawl is everything you could’ve possibly expected and SO much more. New players can jump right in and enjoy themselves, but the new characters and rebalanced old ones will take an unbelievable amount of time and dedication to totally master. And after that you have hundreds upon hundreds of trophies, stickers, coins, levels, stage-builder parts, assist trophies, songs, and other Nintendo-themed goodies to collect. This is a game that will last twice as long as Melee ever did, because under all the extras, the most extensive and enjoyable multiplayer mode ever made is available. If SlapStic gave new-release games scores, Brawl would get 10 out of 9, an A+++, and I’d find a pair of Siamese twins to give it 4 thumbs up. Go buy this game now.
-Ryan Rigney