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Saturday, October 20, 2007                                                                 12:51 PM

Nintendo's "To-Do" List

Nintendo has been throwing down the fan service like it's an ugly baby, lately. They've announced Wii Ware, Sonic in Brawl, USB keyboard support, and Neogeo games for virtual console. That's a LOT of good stuff. Keep in mind that this is the same company that only a few years ago believed that peoplee did not want internet connectivity in their game consoles. Of course, they also believed that people want their systems to look like a 6 year-old girl's lunch box. Anyway, despite the progress they've made, there are still some problems that need to be fixed. Here's the list, in order of greatest priority to least.

  • WRANGLE IN MORE 3RD PARTY EXCLUSIVES: Nintendo's pretty much announced that casual games are now the focus for the company. So since there will be a bit of a hole left in the list of "gamer's games" for the Wii and DS, the least they could do would be to buy up some talented 3rd party's to do their dirty work. Some new IPs would be pretty awesome too.
  • RAISE STANDARDS FOR GAMES DEVELOPED FOR WII: I would rather eat my own arm than play Spiderman: Friend of Foe. Far Cry: Vengeance makes my eyes bleed. Red Steel makes me WANT to impale my TV with my Wiimote. Why are these games getting released? They're about as much fun as rock climbing with Stephen Hawking. If the "Nintendo Seal of Quality" was reinstated properly, it could encourage developers to not to publish software that their art director's son accidentally created by banging on a keyboard randomly.
  • NO MORE FRIEND CODES: I hate them. You hate them. Reggie Fils-Aime and friends know that their creation is garbage. All it takes is a system update, guys, and you'll never hear from me again. Not too much to ask.
  • DOWNLOADABLE CONTENT: Microsoft and Sony both release DLC for THEIR games months after release, so why isn't Nintendo doing the same? How big would the blast radius of your head be if an extra dungeon for Twilight Princess was put up for download TOMORROW.My head would asplode with awesome. When Battalion Wars 2 comes out we're GOING to want some extra levels after we've blazed through the ones initially on the disk. And what about 3rd parties? Medal of Honor Heroes 2 will support 32 player online play. People are going to burn through the multiplayer maps on that game faster than Chris Crocker burned through his "internet fame." Even if it cost points for downloads, it'd be awesome just to have the option.
  • A DEMO CHANNEL AND EXTERNAL HARDDRIVE: I like the Virtual Console. In fact, if I had to choose between losing it, or the entire country of Uganda spontaneously combusting, you could say goodbye to Uganda. Unfortunately, those games take up a pretty good amount of space. I only have 500 blocks out of the original 2000-or-something-or-other left. I can't imagine how ticked the people who do reviews for VC games are. There's no way they can fit all the content they want on 512mb. And there's no doubt that we all want a demo channel for games yet to be released (for DS too.) There's NO CHANCE anyone could download even TWO of those if they purchase VC games. And if DLC ever becomes a reality THAT just adds to the problem. So give us a 20GB external HD, Nintendo. And PLEASE don't price it the same way a certain money-grubbing competitor has.
  • VOICE CHAT AND HEADSETS FOR WII GAMES: I want to scream KUNG POW quotes at people as I blow them off a stage in Smash Bros. Brawl. Nothing says "I need Gopher-Chux" like voice chat. If some kid gets kidnapped cuz he told a stranger where he lives over a match of Mario Strikers, then he deserves it. The rest of us want to talk

On the DS side of things, pretty much nothing is wrong except for the friend code thing. Nintendo has done an AMAZING job with the platform.

So that's the list. I have no doubt that you readers will have your own ideas to add to the list, so after this week i'm going to add this article as its own constantly-updating section to the site. Email your ideas to inohabloespanol@yahoo.com, and if they don't totally suck, I might add them. Thanks!